2005-10-14 - 10:28 a.m.
Hi Internet. Do you know what I just did? When I logged in I used my E-id from work as my login name. I am not thinking clearly. I am so glad that today if Friday, I can't concentrate. I have post-vacation brain, all I can think about it how I don't want to be here and how I wish I was still on holidays. I know that this is all perpetuated with Adam sending out job applications, so my mind is elsewhere, and I think it's fair that I am pre-occupied about this. It's going to affect me too! I am having worry fits about not working and not making my own money. Adam knows this and has helped to alleviate it, he says it will be my money too, but I don't have to explain why and how I spend now and I don't want to have to. I don't ever want to make an excuse why I want to buy a new pair of shoes, if I want them now, I get them. Although he does question me sometimes, he isn't a tyrant, but he doesn't understand my shoe thing, much like I don't understand his video game thing. So we are equal. Anyhow I am a big stresser so I do what I must.
I am at work doing this between things so it's going to be a particularily scattery entry...
I was thinking when I was in New York, that while the paycheque of being famous would be great, there are a lot of sucky bits too.
When we saw John Lithgow he came out the the theatre and there was someone there waiting for him and a car waiting for him, so he doesn't have the luxury of walking down the street. He asked the girl who was there waiting for him to hand him his food, and she did and he thanked her, kissed her cheek and got into his car. This seems all normal, but there were about 50 people all standing there all agog watching this transpire. I felt bad for him, and ashamed that I was part of this crowd. The poor guy just got off of work and was being asked for his autograph, and he just wanted his meal. I felt like an intruder to witness this simple little thing. But on the other hand he did choose this career, but he is still a person and should have the same rights to creature comfort and anonimity. I know I shouldn't be talking about his rights when there are other people in the world who's rights are being neglected and mis-used, but this is what I witnessed, and this is what I felt.
